no words, no senses, no other faculties.
freedom is something so overrated.
can't keep anything open for light or shade.
so hard to close the gates once they are blasted open.
numbers, dates, letters, words, phrases, images, glances, actions, all mixed up,
all in the same memory box that prevents sanity from existing again.
mistakes made, apologies given, arguments fought, decisions taken,
fear of everything removes the value of things.
Shamelessly pleasing the ego, so blind.
so blind.
question of what was so wrong with this "big" request.
request for editing, deleting, rewriting.
but not alone.
minds in gardens lost earned no alternative.
reason is no longer a sovereign here anymore.
the revolutionary army of regret rules this land for now.
many things were lost in the fire.
"nothing lasts, but nothing is lost"?
the worst is that the fire never ended.
still burns underground, melting things, annihilates things,
still eats through this land.
so true.
so brutal.
merciless.
maybe toyed too much.
no sense in anything.
aimless fear of loosing.
bitter residue.
painful residue.
i can almost see outside, some more hard days to suffer away,
still some more walls to crash and run through.
ejaculation of the pain like something unwanted while it stimulates the mortality.
numb and exhausted.
eyes heavy,
mind collapsing,
heart shattered.

fuck off stranger or come back beloved friend.